In Walks Doubt

I know I had positive pregnancy tests but it almost means nothing. I’m just getting a bit worried because I’ve never been pregnant. I don’t know what I should be feeling or doing.

Today I am two days away from my first day of my period and three days from my first Beta test. Yesterday, I was feeling pregnant. Today, I felt the cramps here and there too. But then something hit me…

I’m experiencing my usual PMS symptoms. I need sweet stuff, horny like hell (sorry!), and kind of blah feeling. I’m annoyed and really doubting things at the moment.

There are just so many things that could go wrong and I’m just worrying myself to pieces here. Anyone have some good advice?

It’s Finally My Turn

After seven, almost eight, long years of negative pregnancy tests…I finally get my positive. I don’t even know what to say but I am still cautiously optimistic. I’m still going to keep my happy dance down a notch until this coming Thursday to see what my Beta brings back.

Then the flood of worry I have is still present. What ifs..lots of what ifs. I’ve never been pregnant before so how do we know if my body will hold on to the babe(s) or not? It’s so scary. And now the wait. The week after week wait. But I will remain positive and stay focused on the prize!

Husband and I went out to IHOP to celebrate. I haven’t been there in over 14 years and decided today was as good as ever! I loaded up on pancakes and had ZERO guilt about it. In fact, I was still hungry. Story of my life. My early signs of pregnancy are as follows:

1. Hungry (could be PIO but it’s like non-stop eating.)

2. Gassy (yup…I said it.)

3. Runny nose and sore throat

4. Sore legs and back

5. Tired a lot, usually after 3pm it hits me like a rock.

6. Night-time nausea ( I had one morning of sickness on Friday and then Saturday (last night) I had it come on pretty strong.)

So thats about it right now…looking forward to all the symptoms a pregnant woman has.

When we got home from breakfast I decided to take a digital test from ClearBlue. I just needed to see the words. To know I’m not losing my mind.

There’s no denying now! Right? The words say it all. Those words that I have been waiting SO DAMN LONG to hear. Now that all my friends are on baby number 2 and thinking about number 3…I can finally start on baby number 1 (maybe 2 or 3!)

Time for a nap!

Tell Me You See This!

Ok so I just had a feeling that if I tested today I would know.

I tested friday…nada

I tested Saturday…zilch

and this morning…Sunday morning…it’s different.

Tell me me if you see this too or if I’m just losing my marbles!!!!!????

the bottom two are from Friday and Saturday and the top one from this morning:

A closer set look at one from yesterday and then again this morning:

Am I crazy?! I’m 7dp5dft I think. Or maybe it’s 6 days. Not sure if you count the first day? Anyways…all the signs are there. Itchy nipples, veiny breasts, gassy, nauseous, leg and back pain.

Omg…can not contain myself!!!

Oh The Blood! 5dp5ft

I did a stupid thing this morning. I woke up and was still fairly asleep and felt slightly yucky. Not like I wanted to puke but just that I felt like I could not eat for a while and be ok with that. With one eye open I ripped the small package to reveal the all knowing, all seeing, pee stick. Yup, I caved for some weirdo reason. Only 5 days in…what exactly to I expect to see? Obviously, nothing to report here. Just thought I would share my stupid moment. I’m good now though, no more tests until the Beta on July 2nd! End of story!

Aside from that, it is now Day 2 that my husband has hit some sort of vein or blood vessel while giving me my Progesterone shot. Funny story actually…well maybe not so funny. But I told him when he puts the needle in he has to check for blood. Apparently, I found out, he was actually just lifting the needle back out slightly to see if there was blood on the needle! Not actually pulling the plunger!!! LOL! So, this came to revelation after yesterday’s shot when blood came squirting out and flowing down my backside. Oh boy

. 

Then today, he did it right but it did it again. Another flow of blood and a “Uh oh..” from the husband. So two questions here:

1. What happens when the progesterone is actually pushed into a vein or blood vessel? Am I gonna die???

2. Is this much bleeding to be expected after shots for so many weeks? Maybe its not a blood vessel thing???

I’ll be over here icing my backside.

Holy Cramping

I woke up this morning and as soon as I sat up I felt really intense cramping. The kind I have when my period is around. Since I was 15 I normally was ONLY cramping on the day of my period and since I’m six days out from that even happening I’m convinced that it’s just implanting cramps. **fingers crossed**

That was the only severe part. The rest of the day it’s been hit or miss. As I sit here now I can feel a little bit of pressure but I’ll take what I can get! No complaints!

Did any of you have severe cramps once or twice maybe and then after that easy pressure?

I have these HPT tests under my sink just haunting me but I won’t do it. I just won’t. (Ask me tomorrow how I’m doing with that. lol)

I was just sitting here and thinking about all of you. Some of you who are pregnant, some still trying, some days away from a transfer, some just completing an IUI, others just getting a BFN, and others who just had a miscarriage. I just felt it was necessary to tell you all that you are loved and supported. We are all on this really crazy journey together and although in different parts of it, I just want everyone to know that you are not alone in all of this. Whether good or bad.

Just wanted you to know that. xoxo

Day 3 Update After Embryo Transfer

Well…here I am. Day 3 after the FET and I am feeling great!

I’m not familiar with terminology but I think you all use 3dp5dt (3 days past a 5 day transfer??), did I do that right?! To me it’s not important. What IS important is that I feel cramping ALLLLLL day today. Like seriously…these kids better be attaching themselves and getting nice and snug!

I didn’t do too much today. Just went to the doctors for my weekly estrogen and progesterone blood test. All is good and where it should be. I rested most of the day except for taking the pup for a bit of a walk. Otherwise I have been on my couch bed and trying to just “be.”

Anyone else feel cramping or pressure for the whole day? I thought it would only be here and there but it’s been all day long!

I did buy cheapo home pregnancy tests today but I think I’m going to avoid it. I test my beta next week Thursday and as my mom said, “Allow as much to be a surprise as possible. Allow yourself the full experience.” She’s right. I want a surprise! And I would have to have a false positive. That would kill me.

Back to my nap! Husband will be home soon to take me out to dinner! YAY! No cooking for this PUPO (Pregnant until proven otherwise) girl!

Embies First Pictures

Just wanted to show you guys quickly as I had just received the picture from the embryologist of the two embryos we transferred today.

As I opened the email I was a bit shocked. I didn’t expect them to look like miniature snowmen. After reading a bit more online I found that these are hatching embryos.

Anyone heard of this? Or anyone have an idea what this means for me?

Anyway, without futher ado…here are the kids!

Welcome To The Womb, Embies

Well, today arrived and here I am this afternoon laying in the couch bed the husband set up for me. Not even able to comprehend that I have two sweet potential babies hanging out with me.

This morning I put in my favorite dress, my lucky blue underwear, and my necklace that I wear to every appointment.

Happy as can be we arrived at the clinic, they took my vitals, and took me to my waiting area. Again, I got my fresh fluffy robe!

My amazing doctor came in and gave me a big giant hug as she always does. We went over the procedure and off I walked to the procedure room. All set up with legs spread wide open; it was time!

My doctor put on Enya because embryos like that. For egg retrieval we rocked out to the 80’s!

After watching on the screen the transfer that both my Dr. and the embryologist did together…I lost it. The tears just flowed. Such an unreal moment. Up to this point, we’ve never gotten this far. Years of struggle, 7 years of negative tests, fertility clinics in two different states and two different countries. Here we were. Right in the moment we’ve been waiting for.

And now I rest. Here’s hoping for beautiful sticky embies!

The Night Before…

This is it. The butterflies are fluttering around…or maybe that’s the nausea from the progesterone injections.

Today I had a big plan that we would go out to dinner and maybe a movie or glow in the dark mini golf but the side effects of the injections gets worse each day. Can’t imagine doing these until I’m 8 weeks pregnant. Isn’t morning sickness enough?

For all of you who did an embryo transfer, what did you do afterwards? Bedrest? Live like you normally do? Go for a walk? Eat pineapple core? Just wondering what you were advised to do.

Here we go…hopefully the beginning of a chapter I’ve been waiting to write for over 7 years.

The Last Few Days

Ok people…so here we are! 4 days away from our transfer. It has been a LOOOOOOOONG journey!

We have decided (and keep this a secret please…no one knows!) to do two boy embryos. The doctor called me yesterday and told me that after consulting with the embryologist…the girl would actually survive quite well on her own since she was so close in grade next to the 4 boy embryos. So back on plan!

I went in yesterday for my lining check and blood test. I was a bit worried from taking all the ibuprofen for my back issue that it would really hurt the lining but there wasn’t too much change so that’s good.

Later on the nurse called and told me that it was time to take the last round of stuff. Yesterday I took:

Lupron 20 units (last one!)

Ovidrel

Estrace (2 orally, 1 vaginally)

Progesterone in Oil (day 1)

I was SUPPPPPPPER scared of taking the Progesterone but I had heard that it looks a lot worse than it feels. I numbed the area, laid down on the couch, put on The Notebook, and just let the husband do his thing. I didn’t feel much at all. Which is SUCH a relief. Honestly, PIO and Follitism are probably the two injections I could take every day and not care about. (Can’t believe I’m saying that.)

Check out the comparison between the Lupron needle and the Progesterone needle. Yikes.

Monday is the day! Just overpouring with excitement here.  Can’t believe after seven long years…this day is finally happening!